My son keeps growing in ways that simply amaze me, yet I experienced the loss of another son, and the subsequent depression that followed. The usual financial, marital, and work stress all have taken their toll over the past couple years. This modern world has a way of crushing you if you're not careful.
Through all of this, I found solace in my bicycle. For a quick hour session, or half-hour pedal, I'm free of it all. Free from anxiety, free from depression, free from the weight of expectations to be a functioning adult. Some handle life better, maybe some mask it better. I handle it best after I get a little counseling from the cycle gods.
There's something very organic about being on a bicycle. Every event, every climb, descent, jump, crash, is all caused by a connection between myself and the bike. No motor, no electronics, no plugs. It's a very personal experience for me, much like what surfing feels like to those that do it. The time I spend saddled up to my bike is therapeutic and unfiltered. Whether it be my XC hardtail, my dirtjumper, or my BMX bike. The discipline may be different, but the stoke feels universal. There's not a lap I take at the track, or a run through my favorite trail, or a scrub at my favorite jump, that I'm not smiling. It's magic.
I've made a point throughout my adult life that I wasn't going to use drugs, or turn to alcohol as a way to cope with hardships. I made a pact with myself to be clean. Some turn to these outlets for comfort, or as a means to deal with life. Some rely on prescription drugs to manage pain, be it mental or physical. I'm not a doctor, and I don't claim to have a cure for all situations, but I can tell you this: Grinding to the top of an impossible climb or scaring myself shitless on a descent gives me a high that surpasses any drug. Nothing compares to that feeling of the ride.
The enchanting feeling a bicycle provides is never free, and perhaps that's the greatest part of it all. To get that high, you have to work for it. you have to push a little harder, dig a little deeper. Joints hurt, sweat collects like rain water, but the end result is unsurpassed. The destination is directly determined by the rider. I choose how far and how hard. No matter the path I choose, tranquility is waiting for me. There's a personal certain satisfaction in busting my ass for a view, or even a personal record, or a newly discovered line.The pain is always overshadowed by the experiences it fosters.
I truly believe I'm a better person because of the time spend in the saddle. I'm a better husband and better father for all of the experiences I've had aboard my bicycle. So, as I sit here writing this, drinking my beer and listening to my music, I can't help but feel a sense of calm happiness. Could be the high from the after-work Fall session this afternoon, or it could be the reflection on two years of life experiences, thanks to this blog post, and thanks to my two-wheeled companion.
Cheers,
-JRoy
Cheers,
-JRoy
